This story appeared in one of the Love and Justice fanzines produced by Christine Zdroj-Bichler. (I'm afraid I can't recall which one, probably either the second or third one.) The idea was a story told by a group, with every writer picking a different character to take the POV of, and the format being Jake Sisko running around interviewing everyone.  I took Dr. Mora...


    "A Study in Obliviousness"
    by FyrDrakken <fyrdrakken@juno.com>

Hmm?  What's that?  You want to talk to me about -- a book?

...Ah!  About Odo!  Of course, I'd be *glad* to tell you, anything you want to know!  You'll have much better luck talking to me than you would talking to *him*... *that's* for damn sure.

Now, where to begin.  I suppose I should start at the beginning, when we first found him.  He --

...You're not asking about that?  Well, then, what *were* --

...Ah.  About his current "relationship".  Don't tell me you're writing a *love* story --

...You are.  :Sigh:  Well, you certainly could have picked a more promising couple to work with, if you wanted a true-life romance.  *This* isn't a romance, it's a -- a farce, a comedy.  :Pause:  Maybe a tragedy, before too long.

...How I first found out?  Well, *that* was just a few days ago.  I came to see how Odo was holding up, after that incident with the other Changeling and all that.  Besides...  Well, to tell the truth...  I had heard a few peculiar *rumors* connecting him with some woman he had taken into protective custody who turned out to be an Idanian spy.  I didn't believe them, of course -- this *is* Odo we're talking about, after all.  And this was supposedly happening *after* he became a Changeling again -- ridiculous!  Granted, I know the kinds of pressures that tend to cause that sort of thing, but -- no longer being a humanoid -- he didn't even have the proper drives and hormones to account for the occurence of such an... *incident*.

But still, I thought the truth of the matter might make for an interesting story -- and, to be completely honest, it was as good an excuse as any to come see him again...

   *     *     *

As soon as my ship docked I went straight to the security office.  Odo was his usual charming self in greeting me.

"Doctor!" he said, dropping a PADD on the floor in a rather gratuitous display of surprise.  "You could have warned me you were coming."

Typical graciousness.  "Warned him I was coming", indeed!

"Oh, I decided I'd like to surprise you."  I glanced to the right and noticed we weren't alone in the security office.  There was a young woman sitting there -- fairly good-looking, actually.  After a moment I managed to place her as the station's first officer.  I couldn't remember her name.

 At this point in time, I had recognized the major as Odo's superior officer but was not yet aware that any other relationship existed between them.

I decided that Odo probably wouldn't want to talk about his rumored connections with an Idanian spy in front of his commanding officer -- give me credit for *some* tact! -- so I suggested to him, "Perhaps we could find somewhere to talk.  I'd like to know how you've been, how things have been going in your life lately."

He sighed and waved a hand at the chair next to that Kira woman.  "We can talk right here."

"All right, if this is where you're comfortable."  I seated myself and waited.  The major showed no signs of leaving us to our discussion.  Odo gave me an impatient glare.  "Perhaps we'd better have this conversation in private," I suggested.

Unfortunately, neither of them took the hint.  While that Kira woman glared at me, Odo said, "Anything you have to say to me can be said in front of Nerys."

That really didn't register on me right then and there the way it should have -- the significance of his calling her by her last name, I mean.  I did find it a bit odd that he should refer to his superior officer by her given name, but I didn't stop at the time to consider how rarely he calls *anyone* by their familiar name.  I mean, to give you an example, he still calls *me* "Dr. Mora"!

Anyway, I felt it would be only polite to give him another little warning, so I said, "Are you sure?  I was wanting to ask you about a few odd... *rumors*... I've been hearing about you recently."

He gave me a wary look.  "What *kind* of... *rumors*?"

"Well, about you and a... *woman*."

"A... *woman*?"

"In a... *relationship*."

"A... *relationship*?  And you came all this way to ask me about *that*?"

Obviously it wasn't a true story -- just as I had thought.  I relaxed somewhat.  "Well, I admit they were ridiculous rumors, but I thought there might be an interesting story behind them.  So, it's not true, what I keep hearing about you and that Idanian spy?  What was her name, Marissa, Clarissa, something like that?"

He had an extremely pained look on his face at that remark, and I assumed it was due to a certain amount of embarrassment at having such a story being attached to his name.  But before he could answer, the major rather rudely interceded herself into the conversation, replying for him.

"No, that *Arissa* woman didn't mean anything.  *Anything at all*.  Right, Sweetheart?"  Having said that, she gave me one of the most sweetly malicious smiles I have ever had the misfortune to see on a Bajoran face, while putting her hand *possessively* over Odo's.

Of course, this put another slant on things entirely.  I gave her my undivided attention for a moment.

Not a bad-looking woman, as I said earlier.  A major in the Provisional Government -- a former resistance fighter, in other words.  Oh, lovely, an ex-soldier.  At the moment, she was eyeing me as though she couldn't decide whether to jump down my throat or just laugh in my face.  One of those temperamental types, apparently.  Absolutely the *last* kind of woman Odo needs -- he's so *unstable*.  He really needs -- assuming he were *ready* for a relationship, *which he isn't* -- someone more -- mature.  Tranquil.  Someone to take care of him.  He needs *looking after*.  He really *doesn't* need to be pairing up with someone who solves all her problems with a phaser rifle -- although that *would* be the type of person he'd shack up with, woudn't it?  Given his problems with controlling his own temper, it kind of figures he'd get along well with someone with the same impulse-control problems, doesn't it?

Anyway, this was my first impression of Major Kira upon learning that she was Odo's "light of love".  Nothing I've seen in the past few days has led me to believe my initial impression was a false one.

   *     *     *

Don't get me wrong -- I like Odo, I really do, and I want what's best for him -- but this isn't it.  He doesn't love her, you know.  He *can't*.  He has no comprehension of what love is, any more than he understands most other aspects of humanoid behaviour.  Especially social behavior -- he's never been very good at that at *all*.  He watches and listens, but when he tries it for himself -- he always gets into trouble, and then I have to come rescue him.

...Well, no, that's true.  He *has* managed a decent job of running station security.  *I* taught him that, you know -- the scientific method!  Hypothesizing, testing assumptions, following a chain of facts one by one until they lead to the truth.  It's how he solves his cases.  He seems to do reasonably well at it.

He can't be *that* good at it, though.  Why else would Starfleet always be complaining about the security breaches, trying to get rid of him or put one of their own men in charge of station security, hmm?

...Prejudice against his --  Now, that's just ridiculous.  This dates back to before anyone had even *heard* of the Founders, much less knew that one was in charge of station security.  Besides, this is *Starfleet* we're discussing here.  The Federation.  They're so full of their lofty priciples they wouldn't even help Bajor against the Cardssians, because of their head-in-the-clouds Prime Directive.  Head-up-their-ass, more likely -- *how* could they have really believed that it would have been morally *wrong* to have tried to end the Occupation, I ask you?

:Ahem:  Excuse me.  You aren't here to discuss politics, I know, I know.  Anyway, *Starfleet* wouldn't be so bigoted, especially before the Dominion had given them cause to be.  And Odo's gotten such a justice fixation they couldn't possibly be questioning his *loyalty*.  The little idio-...  :Ahem:  Well, he's got such an overdeveloped sense of integrity he can't even set it aside in his own best interests.  So, by proces of elimination, if Starfleet considers Odo a security problem it must be because he isn't a very good chief of security.

So his one great accomplishment -- leaving the science lab and eventually finding a place for himself here -- really isn't all that spectacular after all.  I looked into the matter, you know.  Asked around.  Gul Dukat gave him the position in the first place because he found Odo amusing at a reception the center gave for some Cardassian officials -- and Odo wouldn't have made such a big impression if it weren't for that "Cardassian neck trick" I made him learn, either, so he owes his first position on this station to me, as well!  And he managed to stay on after the station changed hands because of that Major Kira.

Major Kira...  Hmm...  I really can't help but wonder why she put forth the effort for him, way back then.

I'm stil not quite sure exactly what she sees in him, you know.  I'm sure he must be quite a novelty -- but he's usually so wary, about these things.  Being "used" by somebody else that way.  He always *hated* it when some of the guls used to...  well, "borrow" him for a while.  At least he very quickly learned that it went better for him if he cooperated with them, no matter what they wanted of him -- but it was a great source of personal frustration to me that he refused to duplicate any of it in the lab under the proper conditions for study...

...Don't be ridiculous.  You're ascribing humanoid feelings and motivations to him.  It wasn't really sex to him, had nothing to do with Changeling procreation at all.  It was just mimicry, like that ridiculous cup of coffee that he pretends to drink in the Replimat as he watches the Promenade.  *You* would have been embarrassed by a request like that, but why should *he* have been?  No, he was just being stubborn, refusing to cooperate, since he knew I wasn't exactly going to *punish* him just for being a little bit stubborn with me.  Eventually I decided it really didn't matter and went on to other things -- I actually decided I approved of his attitude!  I thought it would keep him out of at least *some* of the trouble he might otherwise have gotten into, if he refused to hop into bed with *everyone* who wanted to play with him...

Too bad his little atack of pride wore off.  Oh, I know why he did it -- I asked him.  Seems he's convinced himself that he's in *love*, of all things...

   *     *     *

He dropped the offended expression and replaced it with a dignified look that must have taken hours of practice in front of a mirror.  To someone who doesn't know him very well, I'm sure it makes him look wise -- to me, it just looked like he was trying to convince me that he had thought things through and made an intelligent decision.  I knew better, of course.

In an *extremely* serious voice -- like a child trying to pretend to be all grown up! -- he said to me, "I love her."

I rolled my eyes.  "Love.  Hmmph."

He glared at me, since I wasn't taking his little fantasy with the seriousness he felt it deserved.  "Yes.  Love.  Isn't that considered sufficient reason anymore?"

He really can be *so* amusing at times.  "Define it," I told him.

"What?" he said.

"Define it.  Love.  What does it mean?"

He gave me an assumed air of wisdom and experience.  "That's a question I'm given to understand humanoids have been puzzling over for millennia."

"And yet you used the term yourself.  Surely it must mean *something* to you," I persisted.  "What?  What do you mean by saying you "love each other"?  Tell me, I'm curious -- how have *you* answered this millennia-old question?  What great crumbs of wisdom can the Changeling impart to the humanoid masses?"  He glared at me and refused to answer.  "Well?  I'm waiting?  What does this word "love" mean to you?"

After a minute, he came up with something.  "It means that I want to be with her, to have her there from the time I shape myself in the morning to the time I lose my form at night, and all the hours in between.  That I want to take care of her when she gets hurt or sick or in over her head.  That I want to spend the rest of my life with her, even though I'm going to have to settle for only the rest of hers.  That there are very few actions on her part that I could not forgive, and very few things I would not be willing to do for her -- up to and including murder.  It *means* that her continued happiness and well-being are worth more to me than my *life*."

It was a rather pretty performance.  I was actually somewhat impressed with him -- he *had* been getting better at mimicking humanoids.  But that wasn't the time to compliment him on his acting ability -- I had a point to make.

"You got that out of some melodramatic romance novel, didn't you?" I said.

   *     *     *

At that point, I'm sorry to say, relations broke down again.  He was quite upset that his dramatic monologue hadn't convinced me of anything other than that he'd gotten interested in exploring another aspect of humanoid life and had absorbed some rather *questionable* reading material.

He really *will* read anything, you know.  *Anything*.  I had to be very careful about what he got access to in the lab, after there were some incidents.  He really didn't respond too well to fiction, when he was younger -- gave him some bad ideas.  For example, you can't *imagine* how long it took me to teach him that *certain words* are *not* used in polite society!

...Trust me, you don't want to know.  You can't *imagine* what it took for me to break him of the habit!

...Well, let's just say the methods were effective.  I mean, you don't hear him using that kind of language *now*, do you?

Ahem.  Enough on *that* side note.  Where was I?  Oh, yes, that first confrontation in the security office.  After the conversation devolved into an argument and he ran out on me by claiming to have business in Ops, I decided my next order of business was to have a little talk with the major.

I was *very* interested in speaking with her...

   *     *     *

"Ah, Major... Kira, isn't it?  So *you're* the one who finally convinced Odo to start practicing 'humanoid mating customs'."

She looked startled, although I'm not sure whether it was the use of that particular phrase, or just the question itself, that was affecting her.  After sitting there for a second, she unfroze long enough to finish putting her drink down, and said, "Dr. Mora, right?  And I didn't have to convince him anything.  He actually managed to convince *me* of a few things."

Charming.  So we weren't going to be having a truthful discussion after all.  I sat down across from her.  "Somehow, I doubt that.  Odo has gone along quite contentedly for many years without the slightest desire to pair off in a romantic relationship.  *Something* changed his mind, and I rather doubt it was just an excess of trashy romance novels."

She gave me a slightly offended look.  Either she didn't like being caught in a lie, or she didn't like me sitting at her table uninvited.  Too bad.  After a minute, she said, "People change.  He's been gone from the center for... well, at *least* eight or nine years.  People can change a *lot* in that amount of time."

I wasn't very impressed with the answer.  He may have been gone for many years, but before that I'd known him for -- well, probably for almost as long as *she* had been alive.  People change, but not *that* much.  At least, not Odo.

I didn't share this observation with the major.  Instead, I said, "Changes tend to have causes, Major.  I'm curious as to *this* cause.  I *might* chalk it up to his recent term as a humanoid -- except for one thing.  As I recall, *you* were involved with our First Minister at that time.  So unless you were being less than faithful behind your lover's back --"

"NOW LOOK HERE!"

Perhaps I had stepped a bit far for a first meeting.

"I was perfectly faithful to Edon the whole time we were together.  Certainly a lot more than the cheating bastard *deserved*, but I was.  And when I decided I no longer *wanted* him and him alone, I told him and we broke a bowl together.  *I* never went behind his back!  And another thing, about Odo --"

"Yes, about Odo," interrupted the bartender.  That Ferengi, what's his name,  Quark.  The one who was so polite to me the first time I came to the station -- and whom Odo treated so rudely.  Odo really needs to learn to recognize friendship when it's offered to him.

The Ferengi continued, "Am I given to understand that the two of you are engaged in a small dispute over the major's, ah, past conduct of her love life?"

"Yes, we are," I began, appreciating a more level head to contribute to the discussion.  Perhaps an impartial observer would add a greater degree of honesty to the proceedings.

Unfortunately, the major disagreed with me as to the desirability of adding a third party to our conversation.  "Quark, you eavesdropping little troll --" she began.  Evidently she shares a number of Odo's less pleasant personality traits.

"I was *not* eavesdropping!" the bartender replied, cutting her off.  In a quieter voice, he added, "I didn't have to be.  I'm sure people in the second level of the Promenade could hear you."  As she paused to consider the situation -- blushing furiously, I might add, and in both possible meanings of the phrase -- he continued to me, "There's really no reason to be suggesting anything improper happened before she got rid of the First Minister.  I should know, my quarters are under the constable's."

    *     *     *

 ..:Sigh:  At that point, I'm afraid things got somewhat out of control.  The major's little temper tantrum grew quite *heated*.  The bartender retreated behind the dubious protection of his bar, and I... well, let's just say that I found station conditions to be much... *healthier*... in my guest quarters.

As I left the establishment, I couldn't help but notice Odo, *slinking* off into the nearest shadowy corner.  Why he couldn't bestir himself to intercede in that little altercation I have no idea...  No, that's wrong, I *do* have an idea.  And it doesn't speak well for this little "relationship" that his little "ladylove" has him so whipped he can't even carry out his own job as chief of station security when she's involved in the matter.

He's really gotten himself into a bad situation here, and he's apparently convinced himself that it's what he *wants*, that this will somehow make him *happy*.  :Hmmph:  I'm no expert on romance, but even *I* know that if you aren't happy, a love affair won't suddenly make you that way.  True contentment comes from *within*, from satisfaction in yourself and your accomplishments.  He had the right idea when he was devoting himself to his job, taking pride in his achievements as a security chief and leaving the relationships alone.  He's no good at relating to other people at *all*, as I think I've said before.  Granted, that means he should practice, but going from near-total asociability to a love affair is *much* too far for a first step.

I really think he's just being used here.  He's convinced himself that this is some Grand Passion, a meeting of minds, hearts, and paghs.  I doubt *she's* viewing the matter in quite the same fashion.  He must make for a fairly intriguing sexual experience, when he's sufficiently motivated, but aside from the *physical* possibilities he's nowhere *near* what a woman really wants in a lover -- or in a husband.  He's cranky and moody and withdrawn and uncooperative -- he doesn't eat, sleeps in a bucket, and tends to spend hours posing as inanimate objects to escape having to *socialize* with others.  She'll keep him around for a while, until she gets bored with him, and then she'll break a bowl with him -- assuming she respects him enough for *that* polite formality -- and be off after some handsome young vedek or distinguished war hero.

...What?  No, she couldn't *possibly* want to marry him.  All right, granted, one can presumably keep a relationship going for a fairly long time on a merely *physical* basis, but for permanence?  Why, they wouldn't even be able to have children...

Mmm.  Well, I *think* they wouldn't -- Odo's barely organic, after all.  But it would *certainly* make for an interesting experiment -- to see just how far removed he is from us physically, biochemically, and genetically...  I wonder, would such a thing have been possible while he was still human?  Did his people do *that* thorough a job on him?  And if *they* can do that, could he learn it for himself?

This is what I miss about having Odo in the lab!  So *many* fascinating lines of research -- if only he were willing to *cooperate*, so we could follow some of them!

:Sigh:  But instead of aiding the cause of science, he's going to sit around in this dingy Cardassian-built monstrosity and play "detective" -- and then go home with that Kira woman and play "house".  :Another sigh:

You mark my words, he's going to regret this whole matter when it's over with -- and it *will* end, sooner or later.  And I somehow doubt he's going to have a position left on this station when he and that Kira woman are through with each other -- or rather, when *she's* through with *him*.

Hmm.  I wonder if I'll be able to persuade him to come back to the lab with me *then*...


THE END


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